I'm lost and stupid without you.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
