My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
