you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize