Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
