I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
