drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
