Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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