Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
