Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
