do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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