Can i not drive my cunt home
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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