i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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