Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I will pee on everything he values.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
