i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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