I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Betty ford says i'm here all night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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