we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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