That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
