Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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