So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
