i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
