My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
