my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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