the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
