i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
