She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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