the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize