You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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