I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
