From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
