mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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