He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize