Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
