I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
