dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
