I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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