Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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