Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
