But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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