we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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