the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
