Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
time to smoke my breakfast
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
