oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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