After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
