So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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