You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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