remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize