Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
