yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
