My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
