Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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