I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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