Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
