It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
