Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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