Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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