I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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