How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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