i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
