haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
