Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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