I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
