I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize