is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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