we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
