I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
