next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
