The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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