i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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