4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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