can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
