discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
