He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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