Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
