In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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