something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
And then he peed in my hair
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