How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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