Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
